I’m sure Susanne, the Hillbilly Housewife, is a really nice person. But oh, how she needs some help with her blog. The potential she is ignoring with such a great domain name is huge. She is strictly focused on healthy living and a frugal lifestyle.
Dear Susanne, dear niave Susanne, bless your little heart, now is the time to revamp and relaunch HillbillyHousewife.com and watch it skyrocket like a frozen turkey dropped into a vat of boiling oil.
First, Susanne, what kind of name is that for a Hillbilly Housewife? Perfectly charming if you are running a school for Petit ala Ballerina. But Susanne is not a Hillbilly Housewife name. Pick a nom de plumealias a.k.a.
- Penny Sue Clementine
- Leanne Lou Dallas
- Betty Bay Bullman
- Bobbie Jean Duke
- Red Neck Diva (oh, sorry, that’s taken)
- Jenny Jo Lawson (ah, sorry again)
Currently Hillbilly Housewife writes advice on “How to Organize Your Kitchen and Pantry in a Weekend.”
Penny Sue, (that’s my favorite a.ka.) there are elebenty million blogs and websites and television shows and magazine articles and probably books and DVD’s with that advice. You may get 300,000 visitors a month, but if you want to reach your real audience, here are topics that Hillbilly Housewife on which you should focus, or focus on, or stuff that y’all should rat about.
This is just a taste, contact me for more ideas (we can negotiate fees later.)
- Removing Rust from the Trailer using Lard
- How to Keep Tupperware Sparkling
- Easy PBR Bottle Storage
- Which Recliner Should be on the Porch
- How to Teach Your Chillren about The Jews
- Raising Bail on Holiday Weekends
- When Little Billy Jo Moves In with Your Husband’s Son’s ex-wife.
- Keeping Your Man Interested: Eight New Uses for Shotgun Oil
Health and Happiness:
- Pine Needle Flossing
- Goat Milk Enemas for Eternal Happiness
- How To Convert Your Semper Fi Tat into Little Dale #88
- Does NASCAR Make You a Horn Dog?
Getting Another Man:
- What You Can Learn From Squirrels
- The 11 Ellie May Clampett Moves that Drives Truckers Insane
- Kidnapping: The Frugal Alternative to eHarmony.com
- Cousins Can Be Great Lovers
There are just so many other topics that are crying out to be addressed by a real Hillbilly Housewife.
- What to Give your Parole Officer for Christmas
- Cleaning Your Tooth in Church, Right or Wrong?
- What to Wear to the Union Meeting
- Is Paw Really Supposed to Do THAT?
Until I hear from you Susanne, I will be standing by. I’m the old white dude in the John Deere hoodie.