We had unwanted company yesterday. As Nancy was carrying in goodies in from her shopping spree, she spied a rodent perched on a curtain rod in the “breezeway” between garage and house. It’s always closed up so there is only one way in – through the door to the garage, which I usually leave open when I come and go. I wasn’t very popular because of our uninvited guest.
My strategy was simple (I have yet to develop ever a complicated one.)
Open the sliding door and go to bed.
How do you know if a squirrel is smart enough to go out an open door? You don’t – because they aren’t. Those stupid rodents just keep hanging around.
I could see the hateful, destructive, bird-feeder raiding, creature-from-the-black-tree, still had some life. The dumbass was just hanging by one foot. Rather than run out the open garage door, the little bastard decided to crawl around on the top of some folding chairs. So there he hung by one foot! Ha! serves you right enemy of mine.
I eventually released it, fully expecting it to crawl up my leg and get some nuts.
It’s didn’t, but that sucker was still alive, I could smell the birdseed on it’s breath. On my first squirrel hunt this is the way things went down…
I immediately went into DefCon One. Ripping off my suit and tie (yes I always dress up on Saturday morning) and lunging into my camos, I screamed DefCon ONE!!! and my wife sprung into action. By the time I got up from the fall caused by tripping over my camo pants, she had the car backed out and the top town.
Nancy knew we were going squirrel hunting because she spotted this second one, and she knew she needed to drive while I manned the five iron. We have changed from the convertible to a more maneuverable Gypsy. And we have added a squirrel tracker to the family. She scooped Sofi up, I hopped on the back, and we were off.
It wasn’t even close, the little sucker was limping down the road, still woozy from having a brain full of squirrel blood.
I took careful aim.
Bingo! Another head for the NASCAR/Cigar Bar.