Shakespeare would have been a fan of “muppet-like” puppets doing it like a couple of horny teenagers while on stage. I’ve never read Shakespeare, safe to say never will, but he made fart jokes, and that is tres-cool. We saw the play Avenue Q on Saturday afternoon. Shakespeare would have been ROTFLH(his)AO.

Yes, I think the Avon Lady, or Bard of Avon, whatever, would have also been a fan of texting and the shorthand language it spawned.

Shakespeare wrote the phrase, “Hoist by his own petar.” I’ve misused it before and never knew I was quoting Shakespeare.

Here is how the expression is used in Hamlet (III, iv, 206-208):

For ’tis the sport to have the enginer
Hoist with his own petar, an’t shall go hard
But I will delve one yard below their mines,
And blow them at the moon.

I don’t understand a thing about that snippet, but I know “hoist with his own petar” mean to screw somebody before they screw you. It’s a great twist on the Golden Rule.

A “petar” was an explosive device. It got its name from the French verb pêter, which means “to break wind.” The Old French noun pet means “fart.” Shakespeare was making one of his earthy puns here.

Petar became petard. I’m still not sure, if one “hoist with his own petar” or is “hoisted.” It not important. Point: if Shakespeare loved “earthy puns” he would have loved Avenue Q.

Avenue Q is the story of Mary Monster (center) (an un-monster like puppet) and the people around her who are attempting to find their purpose.

Long story short: Mary Meets Princeton, the Bad Idea Bears convince Princeton to take Mary home because she “is wasted.”

Mary and Princeton have wild puppet-monkey sex hilariously and graphically demonstrated. Multiple positions. Multiple options. Multiple orgasms.

They have a falling out, then Princeton becomes her hero, and they find their purpose.

Curtain.

I was a riot! Some of the songs:

• If You Were Gay
• Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist
• The Internet is for Porn

Some of Nancy’s friends were suitably offended. I thought it was great. Shakespeare quality! As long as Shakespeare was in a fart-joking mood.