“How Cold Is It?”
January. It’s sometimes cold in January. Cold is relative. If it’s 45 degrees on South Beach it’s cold, if it’s -45 in Hibbing, Minnesota, it’s cold. It’s cold, I heard it on the weather. I heard it on the news. I heard it on the sports. I heard it at the drive-through. I heard it taking off my coat. I heard it at the urinal.
It’s cold.
With respect to Johnny Carson, the master of the multiple answers to single question schtick.
How Cold Is It? It’s so cold…
- I had to chisel the dog off the flagpole
- I broke the smoke off our chimney
- I left the fridge door open to warm up this morning
- my false teeth were chattering and they were still in the glass
- I’m looking forward to getting a fever
- I’m flicking my Bics in my pocket
- my balls have became ovaries
- my car won’t start running and my nose won’t stop
- the rock rattling around in my shoe is my big toe
- the steam off of my head created a war between two Indian villages
- I only had time to pee “60” in the snow
- I chopped up the piano to get wood – only got two chords
- Rush Limbaugh was the hottest air in my car
How cold is it at your house? Not the temperature… give me an analogy, please.
its so cold my father is blogging about it!!!!
@bulbous: yeah but he’ll blog about anything.
ISC…Jeremy hasn’t been outside in a week. Time to get him a speaking gig.
It’s so cold that I had to put on a tee shirt instead of a tank top until the sun got over the trees. 😛
I feel your pain though. In college and for my first year post-grad, I lived in Philly and AC. :/
Marissa…did you read this?…Eco-Friendly Hotels for Oenophiles – Fall Asleep Inside a Wine Casket at De Vrouwe van Stavoren Hote (GALLERY)
@Jacob: hehehe, now send a pic of his work space. Let’s see all the take out trash.
@Marissa: ahahahahaha (not)
On a side note, I enjoy immensely that the note below my comment suggests I read an article that I wrote. 🙂
Marissa…did you read this?…Eco-Friendly Hotels for Oenophiles – Fall Asleep Inside a Wine Casket at De Vrouwe van Stavoren Hote (GALLERY)
@Marissa: I know, I’m just so damned clever I want to puke. I changed it so it will read … also wrote this… which really does make more sense!