“How Cold Is It?”
January. It’s sometimes cold in January. Cold is relative. If it’s 45 degrees on South Beach it’s cold, if it’s -45 in Hibbing, Minnesota, it’s cold. It’s cold, I heard it on the weather. I heard it on the news. I heard it on the sports. I heard it at the drive-through. I heard it taking off my coat. I heard it at the urinal.
It’s cold.
With respect to Johnny Carson, the master of the multiple answers to single question schtick.
How Cold Is It? It’s so cold…
- I had to chisel the dog off the flagpole
- I broke the smoke off our chimney
- I left the fridge door open to warm up this morning
- my false teeth were chattering and they were still in the glass
- I’m looking forward to getting a fever
- I’m flicking my Bics in my pocket
- my balls have became ovaries
- my car won’t start running and my nose won’t stop
- the rock rattling around in my shoe is my big toe
- the steam off of my head created a war between two Indian villages
- I only had time to pee “60” in the snow
- I chopped up the piano to get wood – only got two chords
- Rush Limbaugh was the hottest air in my car
How cold is it at your house? Not the temperature… give me an analogy, please.
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its so cold my father is blogging about it!!!!
@bulbous: yeah but he’ll blog about anything.
ISC…Jeremy hasn’t been outside in a week. Time to get him a speaking gig.
It’s so cold that I had to put on a tee shirt instead of a tank top until the sun got over the trees. 😛
I feel your pain though. In college and for my first year post-grad, I lived in Philly and AC. :/
Marissa…did you read this?…Eco-Friendly Hotels for Oenophiles – Fall Asleep Inside a Wine Casket at De Vrouwe van Stavoren Hote (GALLERY)
@Jacob: hehehe, now send a pic of his work space. Let’s see all the take out trash.
@Marissa: ahahahahaha (not)
On a side note, I enjoy immensely that the note below my comment suggests I read an article that I wrote. 🙂
Marissa…did you read this?…Eco-Friendly Hotels for Oenophiles – Fall Asleep Inside a Wine Casket at De Vrouwe van Stavoren Hote (GALLERY)
@Marissa: I know, I’m just so damned clever I want to puke. I changed it so it will read … also wrote this… which really does make more sense!