Mars, the makers of M & M’s have been under intense scrutiny for not improving the lovely candy coated little pieces of heaven. Therefore, I am pleased to announce on their behalf, the new Retractable M & M’s candy. Each candy piece is attached to a cord which allows you to swallow the morsel whole and drag it up and down your esophagus. Or if you wish, you can let your stomach do it’s work, pass the yummy honeys along to your colon and then elect to drag it backwards and enjoy the M & M’s all over again, and again, and again.
The candy will cost $972.59 / lb. and will be available by prescription only to be used under supervision by an M & M trained technician.

I have completed the training and do house-calls.