On this Earth Day 2009, I pledge to Mother Earth:
- I will not leave earth for more than a few hours at a stretch.
- I will not eat earth, but I may continue to eat earthworms.
- I will refer to her as Mother Earth, rather than Planet Earth since there may be another Planet Earth soon. Hope they have better success franchising Planet Earth than Planet Hollywood did.
- Google earth will remain downsize because Sergey Brin never returns my phone call.
- I will listen to more Earth, Wind and Fire.
- I will use “Greetings, Fellow Earthling” at least daily.
- I will no longer question why Earth was not named after a Greek or Roman god.
- I will listen to more Eartha Kitt.
- I will respect those who were born under Earth signs, even though I think Astrology is for lunartics. (Aside: a volcanic eruption on the moon would be a lunar tic.)
So there you have it. My pledge to Mother Earth for Earth Day 2009.