Microsoft tried to make some big waves in the tech world by announcing a new search engine called Bing.

Besides the fact that Bing means “disease” in Chinese and has already been referred to as Because It’s Not Google, Bing is pretty much a made up word.

Never mind that Google should really have been spelled gogol, at least it’s derived from a term that means “large number.”

Bing on the other hand suggests:

• Crosby
• Bada Bing
• Binghamton –
• Bing Cherries – which will really give you the trots if you eat a whole lot in one sitting.
• Bing candy bars – haven’t seen one in ages.
  
• Carmella Bing
  
• Bingo – which would have been a GREAT search injun name
• Bing carburetor – used on BMW motorcycles
• Dave Bing – NBA star now mayor of Detroit the home of GovM
• Chandler Bing
  
• Bing Bong – See Michael Phelps, or Bing Crosby’s pipe
• Traci Bingham – I hope she still is dressing properly when she takes out the trash.
• Stanley Bing – kinda obscure unless you read his blog, which you should

BING VS. BING

LONG-TIME FORTUNE COLUMNIST AND BEST-SELLING AUTHOR STANLEY BING CONDEMNS “BRAND INTRUSION” BY NEW MICROSOFT SEARCH ENGINE, ALSO TO BE NAMED “BING”

OFFERS SERVICES TO NEW ENTITY FOR “ANY REASONABLE OFFER”

Bill Gates is a Prick.

UPDATE: Har. Microsoft marketing decided they would try to get cute and actually respond to The Real Bing, and among other things they offered.

Let’s do lunch. In the meantime we are sending you a case of moderately priced cigars.
Your pals,
Bing.com

Hello boys? Cigars come in boxes, Bourbon comes in cases.  You could look it up on Bing.com if the site was actually working.