All together now… durrrrr.
Being behind the wheel, whilst careening down the road at 83 miles per hour, allows a lot of think time.
I’ve seen long-haul truckers:
- parallel park on the Champs de Elvis in Memphis
- drive three wide in Hurricane Culligan at 83 mph
- flirt with Glinda, eat meat and three, pass gas, all in less than the time it takes me to find my Jon and Kate Wilkes booth
- pick their teeth with a Bowie knife and not draw blood
- with tri-trailers do a reverse 180, release the middle trailer and hook back up to make a dual
- back in between two other trailers at 30 mph and stop within 2 inches of the dock
What’s up with the flashing of lights when they pass each other going 85 mph down the Interstate? Daytime, Nighttime, Anytime.
Flash, flash, flash.
Flash headlights when a trucker pulls into their lane, flash trailer lights after pulling in front of another trucker.
Are long haul truckers stricken with Alzheimer’s when they hit the Interstate Highways so they forget how long their rig is?
Does a long haul trucker’s mirror say “objects in mirror must flash before you turn right?”
Are Interstate truckers so hopped up on bennies that they need visual assistance to get back in line?
Do they think this is NASCAR and to turn right you need a spotter to indicate “clear low?”
They all have cell phones, why don’t they just call each other? They all have GP Esses, can’t they just plot the position of every truck in 1000 yards? Kinda like the voluntary air traffic control over the Hudson River?
What is it with Interstate Truckers?