Skip, at the House of Chaos, has the marriage scoring system figured out and now is sharing for all mankind (not humankind because this is the Man Point System.)
If there is a Woman Point System, Skip hasn’t figured it out yet, but I hope he does soon.
In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects.
Here are a few of Skip’s guide to the point system (and I’ve added a few I’ve learned on my own for long-married Boomer guys in bold) but skip over to Skips to catch the rest of his – it’s a winnah!
— You make the bed (+1)
— You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
— You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You let the dogs out (0)
You let the dogs out after they have pooped in the house (-5)
You leave the poop right where it was (-25)
You take out the trash (0)
You take out the trash and the recycle bin (0)
You take out the trash but dump the recycle bin into the trash (-10)
— You stay by her side the entire party (0)
— You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
— Named Tina (-4)
— Tina is a dancer (-10)
41 years? Social engagement? Together?
She goes to Bunko (0)
You stay home (0)
You stay home and loss $50 playing poker online (-10)
She goes to Knit ‘n’ Bitch (0)
You stay home and sit outside surfing the web (0)
You stay home and sit outside surfing and smoking a cigar (-20)
— You take her out to dinner (0)
— You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
— Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
— And it’s all-you-can- eat night (-3)
You remember her birthday (0)
You buy her diamonds (0)
But you forget the $4 birthday card (-15)
A NIGHT OUT
— You take her to a movie (+2)
— You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
— You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
— You take her to a movie you like (-2)
— It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
— You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
Night out, night?
You take her to a matinee (0)
She stands in line for the popcorn and Coke while you pee (-5)
You run and pee during the previews (0)
You run and pee during the first hour (-5)
You run and pee right after the movie. (-10)
She can’t run into Joann’s Fabrics because you have to pee (-50)
Skip has a 8000 point loser in this category.
10,000 point loser answer here according to Skip!
By now you have noticed that for long married Boomer guys, there are no points scored. ever.
Oh wait, I thought of one:
You unexpectedly take her car to get serviced (0)
You have it detailed inside and out (+1)
You screw around with the radio/CD/iPod player (-100)