When one applies for car insurance, the insurer inquires as to the driving habits of the person purchasing the insurance.
A string of questions usually includes:
Have you been convicted of a moving violation within the past three years? If yes, explain. In the future I will have to answer “Yes” to All-Farm-Geico-Mutual-Travelers Insurance because:
I passed a dead gal.
Actually, I passed a dead gal’s friends.
I have always respected the dead when they are taking their final cruise to be placed at peace. I have stopped or pulled off the road to let the funeral procession proceed.
I was cruising down the four lane street that passes in front of the Place-of-Plots Cemetery at noon, I was in the left lane passing a line of cars in the right lane. As soon as I saw the cruiser (macho=cruiser) with lights flashing, I realized the right lane of traffic was a funeral procession turning into the Constant-Ground-Under-Repair Resting Land.
I stopped about 200 yards short of the entrance to the Official-Planting-Ground-for-the-Unburnable.
An officer (macho=officer) stepped off the curb and into my lane and pointed to his right to the other entrance to Come-To-Jesus Memorial Lawns.
Then he pointed at me and pointed there again. I slowly rolled forward and read his lips “pull over.”
A female officer approached and asked if I knew it was against the law to pass a funeral procession.
Suppressing “Are You F***ing Kidding Me?” I said no, explaining that I thought it was only a sign of courtesy and respect and as soon as I realized I was passing the dead gal’s friends, I stopped.
Mrs. Taylor lived to be 95 years old and was a hard worker. I would have liked her. She worked her fingers to the bone…
She was a folder at Union Underwear and worked at Wishy Washy Laundromat after her retirement.
(Union Underwear is now Fruit-of-the-Loom)… and was old enough that she had out-lived a lot of her family.
She was preceded in death by a daughter, Linda Sue Phelps; a son, Bobby Ray Taylor; four brothers, John Smith, George Smith, Roy Smith and Coy Smith; five sisters, Ester Jones, Myrtle Woods, Helen Hood, Jane Andrews and Velma Miller; and a granddaughter, Sheila Ann Young.
I respect her. But since I don’t have details about her friends in the funeral procession, I don’t know about them.
No matter. In Kentucky KRS 189.378 (8) is the law regarding funeral processions:
When a funeral procession is in progress, a person driving a vehicle not in the procession shall not pass or overtake any vehicle in the procession…
Respect has nothing to do with it. Lawmakers decided that drivers in Kentucky should not pass dead people. Smallburg’s finest persons-in-blue decided that I was a out-of-control scofflaw that needed to be taught a hard lesson.
They snatched me from the car and beat me to a bloody pulp with their nightsticks, blinded me with pepper spray and tased me within an inch of my life.
I got a Uniform Citation along with an April 16 court date.
Respect the dead, but Smallburg cops that pull funeral procession duty aren’t worth it.
UPDATE: an acquaintance told me she got a Uniform Officer Citation for not signaling while changing lanes. There was no traffic around her, she just moved over 1/2 a lane to avoid a temporary steel plate covering a pothole!