Sunday Stealing: The Me Me Meme
1. Never in my life have I been: A short left-handed female, so I married one.
2. The one person who can drive me nuts is: see above
3. High school was: the pits. 4 years of angst punctuated by bursts of mischievous misbehavior.
4. When I’m nervous I: pick my nose or rub my face or squirm in my seat.
5. The last song I listened to was: Scott Joplin’s Wall Street rag on Pandora.com, no wait, it was something from the Jersey Boys CD in Nancy’s car, which I got to drive because she was pukey in bed and I sneaked out.
6. If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: St. Todd DeCubbville
7. My hair is: buzzed gray but still growing about as well as ever on my head, better than ever in and on my nose and back.
8. When I was 5: I walked to school with the big kids.
9. Last Christmas: was vewy vewy quiet. Just the two of us which is becoming pretty normal.
10. I should be..: coughing up blood.
11. When I look down I see: Sofi lying beside me.
12. The happiest recent event was: I won a grand in a sweepstakes, which will be used to upgrade our vacation.
13. If I were a character on ‘Friend’ I would be: Ross
14. By this time next year: I will be famous.
15. My current gripe is: my Total Knee Replacement ta-da- dummmmmmmm wasn’t worth it. My knee is stiff and hurts worse than before.
16. I have a hard time understanding: How Mark Phelps keeps motivated when swimming laps. I guess that’s what coaches are for?
17. There’s this girl I know that: is such a Kentucky Redneck that everything that she says is a cliche.
18. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: Nancy.
19. Take my advice: Don’t buy a wooden leg from ballerina.
20. The thing I want to buy: A left-handed forebesider with a built in Hemingway
21. If you visited the place I was born: (the town) you would be amazed at how tiny it is. (When I was growing up all those buildings to the left weren’t there – just a field)
22. I plan to visit: Beaufort, SC the week of May 7. If you break in, do lots and lots of damage so we can make a huge insurance claim. The diamonds and cash are under the bed in a safe in the floor. The pot is in the attic. The keys to the jet are hanging in the hangar on a hanger.
23. If you spent the night at my house: wipe and flush.
24. I’d stop my wedding if: N/A
25. The world could do without: Oprah and Choprah.
26. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: whoa, that’s pretty gross, nicely done. I can’t think of anything worse.
27. Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: I bot a bunch of vackay clothes today: shorts, bathing suit, two jackets, long warm up pants, strap for my glasses so I can white-water kayak and not risk losing them unless I smash my cranium against a giant boulder.
28. Most recent thing someone else bought me:
29. My favorite blonde is: Kelly Pickler
30. My favorite brunette is: Shania Twain
31. My favorite red head is: Rihanna
(The above are just random names that popped into my head.)
32. My middle name is: Lee
33. In the morning I: pee, shave (usually) get dressed by putting my pants on first and then a shirt which is backwards because my pants always fall down when I put my shirt on. I also put my socks on both feet and then put on my shoes, walk Oliver, feed the pack, feed me and I am good to go. (Unless it’s Sunday and then everything changes.)
34. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: butterflies. Unless I’m supposed to offer a current non-flying animal, in that case I would go with a wildebeest – gawd they are so ugly.
35. Once, at a bar: (a hundred years ago) another couple and us ordered a lot of exotic drinks and got so snockered we flushed the bar tab and skeedaddled.
36. Last night I was: younger
37. There’s this guy I know who: wants to be married so bad and can’t find a girl who isn’t after his money.
38. If I was an animal I’d be: Aardvark
39. A better name for me would be: Slim
40. Tomorrow I am: screw around outside and then go to Opening Day at the ole ball park.
41. Tonight I am: yawning
42. My birthday is: November 24.