Sunday Stealing: The Me Me Meme
1. Never in my life have I been: A short left-handed female, so I married one.

2. The one person who can drive me nuts is: see above

3. High school was: the pits. 4 years of angst punctuated by bursts of mischievous misbehavior.

4. When I’m nervous I: pick my nose or rub my face or squirm in my seat.

5. The last song I listened to was: Scott Joplin’s Wall Street rag on Pandora.com, no wait, it was something from the Jersey Boys CD in Nancy’s car, which I got to drive because she was pukey in bed and I sneaked out.

6. If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: St. Todd DeCubbville

7. My hair is: buzzed gray but still growing about as well as ever on my head, better than ever in and on my nose and back.

8. When I was 5: I walked to school with the big kids.

9. Last Christmas: was vewy vewy quiet. Just the two of us which is becoming pretty normal.

10. I should be..: coughing up blood.

11. When I look down I see: Sofi lying beside me.

12. The happiest recent event was: I won a grand in a sweepstakes, which will be used to upgrade our vacation.

13. If I were a character on ‘Friend’ I would be: Ross

14. By this time next year: I will be famous.

15. My current gripe is: my Total Knee Replacement ta-da- dummmmmmmm wasn’t worth it. My knee is stiff and hurts worse than before.

16. I have a hard time understanding: How Mark Phelps keeps motivated when swimming laps. I guess that’s what coaches are for?

17. There’s this girl I know that: is such a Kentucky Redneck that everything that she says is a cliche.

18. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: Nancy.

19. Take my advice: Don’t buy a wooden leg from ballerina.

20. The thing I want to buy: A left-handed forebesider with a built in Hemingway

21. If you visited the place I was born: (the town) you would be amazed at how tiny it is. (When I was growing up all those buildings to the left weren’t there – just a field)

22. I plan to visit: Beaufort, SC the week of May 7. If you break in, do lots and lots of damage so we can make a huge insurance claim. The diamonds and cash are under the bed in a safe in the floor. The pot is in the attic. The keys to the jet are hanging in the hangar on a hanger.

23. If you spent the night at my house: wipe and flush.

24. I’d stop my wedding if: N/A

25. The world could do without: Oprah and Choprah.

26. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: whoa, that’s pretty gross, nicely done. I can’t think of anything worse.

27. Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: I bot a bunch of vackay clothes today: shorts, bathing suit, two jackets, long warm up pants, strap for my glasses so I can white-water kayak and not risk losing them unless I smash my cranium against a giant boulder.

28. Most recent thing someone else bought me:

29. My favorite blonde is: Kelly Pickler

30. My favorite brunette is: Shania Twain

31. My favorite red head is: Rihanna

(The above are just random names that popped into my head.)

32. My middle name is: Lee

33. In the morning I: pee, shave (usually) get dressed by putting my pants on first and then a shirt which is backwards because my pants always fall down when I put my shirt on. I also put my socks on both feet and then put on my shoes,  walk Oliver, feed the pack, feed me and I am good to go. (Unless it’s Sunday and then everything changes.)

34. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: butterflies. Unless I’m supposed to offer a current non-flying animal, in that case I would go with a wildebeest – gawd they are so ugly.

35. Once, at a bar: (a hundred years ago) another couple and us ordered a lot of exotic drinks and got so snockered we flushed the bar tab and skeedaddled.

36. Last night I was: younger

37. There’s this guy I know who: wants to be married so bad and can’t find a girl who isn’t after his money.

38. If I was an animal I’d be: Aardvark

39. A better name for me would be: Slim

40. Tomorrow I am: screw around outside and then go to Opening Day at the ole ball park.

41. Tonight I am: yawning

42. My birthday is: November 24.