Things I Would Do With Diplomatic Immunity.
Washington – A Qatari diplomat who was detained by US authorities after prompting a security scare by lighting up a cigarette in an airline toilet has been released from custody, US officials said Thursday.
Imagine if I had decided to light up in the toilet? I would be in Gitmo so fast it would make your head spin.
Since the guy had diplomatic immunity, I guess the U.S. had no choice but to let the guy go. But, Dude! We don’t kiss in public in your country, don’t light up your butt in our airplanes.
Hopefully he would have flushed his butt and not thrown it in the waste paper causing a fire and serious issues, so all’s well that ends well.
Here are the things of a non-serious, but unlawful, things I would do if I had diplomatic immunity:
- Pee on the Magnolias at Augusta National
You know about asparagus making your pee stink, did you know:
• Eating beets can turn your urine red.
• Vitamin B2 makes it bright yellow.
• Certain blue dyes make it blue-green.
• L-dopa makes it dark brown.
• Rhubarb sometimes makes it brownish or pinkish.
More laws I would break if I had diplomatic immunity…
- Pass a funeral procession.
- Cross the river into Indiana and put on a puppet show.
- Have eight dogs without a Kennel license. HOLY Crap, did I really just write that?
- Litter. Just to keep the inmates busy.
- Remove the muffler from my car and buzz the cop shop.
- Burn leaves in the fall.
- Enjoy a doobie.
- Install a still.
I hereby grant you Diplomatic Immunity to avoid any law in the land. What say you?
Consider yourself one of the privileged ones, because — according to the World’s Greatest Authority, Wikipedia — less than 25% of the global population can smell asparagus pis.
If I had diplomatic immunity, I would light cigarettes in churches, synagogues, mosques, ashrams and Starbucks (Starbuckses?). Also, I would steal all posts on Going Like Sixty and sell them to the highest bidder among foreign agents and Tea Baggers. And I’d definitely wear a T-shirt that said “My influential parents sent me to the United States and all I got was this lousy diplomatic immunity.”
.-= Larry Wallberg´s last blog pithTiger Woods and Sarah Palin: What’s Going On? =-.
Park in red zones — definitely. My needs are modest. 😉
.-= injaynesworld´s last blog pithinjaynesworld we ask "What Would John Lennon Say..?" =-.
@Larry: Holy Smokes? Great idea. My posts are available for purchase, make me an offer.
@InJaynesWorld: oh great idea. I would do that too.