If Cheeseboy, a mere lad of 34, can admit it and only get Sixty-plus comments of bafflement, it is time for me to admit what you might have already suspected.
It’s bigger than Bradiffer’s breakup. Bigger than Branjellina. Bigger than when that strange celeb couple named their kid “Apple”. Bigger than the reissue of the McRib.
Cheeseboy doesn’t own a cell phone. I don’t own a cell phone.
I do not want to own a cell phone.
Trying to use Nancy’s iPhone while on vacation further convinced me I am right in my decision.
Cheeseboy did a nice job of explaining all the rational reasons why I don’t need/want a cell phone:
- cost of operation
- cliches of conversation
- churlish behavior
- child-like envy
- cheesy accessories
Without a doubt the iPhone is the Gold Standard of phones, so it follows that AT&T is the best network because the iPhone is tethered to AT&T.
While sitting on the beach, I thought it would be fun to give Bulbous a call on Nancy’s iPhone.
I could not see anything on the screen! I guess the developers of the iPhone all live in Seattle where the sun never shines – or in SoCal where when it does shine, it is filtered by smog.
“Oh yeah,” Nancy said, “you can hardly ever see the screen when you’re outside.”
Shoved phone back in her beach bag.
I wanted to grab a quick snapshot and didn’t have a camera handy. Because of the glare, it was impossible to frame the picture.
From time to time she took a call from a friend and if we didn’t stop walking or driving, the call would be dropped.
I thought it would be fun if she got a “Law and Order” ringtone because she is such a huge fan.
We couldn’t find one in iTunes.
I’m willing to deal with two remotes to watch television – and the four positions needed on the Direct TV remote.
I have a shade on my laptop that cuts the glare so I can blog and read RSS outside so I have made concessions to use technology.
I have Skype and a Skype phone.
I have a Magic Jack line.
But I understand why “the young people” live and die by their phones. I just can’t figure out how a 34 year old married first grade teacher with two young boys can live without one.
That is it folks. I do not own a cell phone and I doubt if I ever will. Strangely enough, here I am BLOGGING… on an actual COMPUTER! I have no idea how technology hasn’t passed me by.
I think he just was trolling for comments – or a phone for Father’s Day.