If I knew that dropping 75 pounds would make me invisible to people I have known for the last 15 years, I would have supplemented my income by robbing banks before losing the weight.
Check it out: this guy robs banks across the south for months and the FBI doesn’t have a clue where he is. If he is smart, he is dropping the weight, because when I did I was able to walk right by people and not have them recognize me.
The FBI is calling him the Granddad Bandit because they say it helps law enforcement officials if there is a clever nickname attached to serial bank robber.
Remember Baby Face Nelson? Pretty Boy Floyd? Bugs Moran? Never mind that those dudes were active decades ago, the FBI can’t seem to move on, so Granddad Bandit it is.
They are offering $10,000 reward for the Granddad Bandit’s arrest.
The man is described as being between 6 feet and 6 feet 4 inches tall and weighing between 220 and 250 pounds. He is described as stocky and bald, with short gray hair on the sides, and wears glasses.
As if that doesn’t describe every white geezer in America! The only thing they didn’t add was “last seen at Wal-mart.”
To make citizens aware the FBI is pulling out all the stops to arrest this vicious geezer, they are putting up billboards in Missouri with his picture.
Yeah, that will help! Maybe Homeland Security needs to put up Osama’s picture in Afghanistan.
Granddad Bandit: robbing banks since October 2009!
Go Granddad Go!