Catch Her in the Wry suggested that Bulbous take me to the Pet Wash when I become too old to bathe myself.

Not bad, not bad, but kinda pricey. Even if the soap is included. Then there is all that lifting to get me into the stainless steel tub.

Here are some other ideas:

• Dump some laundry detergent on my head and roll me outside during a thunderstorm.
• Tie my walker to the back bumper of your car as you go through a car wash. Suggestion: don’t get the dryer cycle, I’m pretty light.
• Baptize me weekly.
• Offer me a drink from a fountain, but keep your finger over the hole so it sprays me. Note: this only works on face and neck, maybe upper body if you’re lucky and I fall for it twice.
• Visit the DMV, give me a seat, and find the fire alarm to set off overhead sprinklers.

Any other ideas are always welcome and strongly encouraged. I may start using them sooner rather than later.