I didn’t fall once in Barbados while under the influence of demon Rum. OK there was this one time on the beach where I did one of those “I’m halfway standing up, but I can’t get the rest of the way up” deals. So I just St. Todd DeCubbville was just an arms length away, but did he offer a hand?
Nooooooo, he was too busy laughing.
But I could have busted my butt this morning on a tricky patch of frost that was lurking in the shadow. Get this: here’s a company that has compiled all the ways I need to be careful this winter.
Ok, forget the fact that it’s about the elderly – and how much I absolutely HATE that word. Remember because I am still overweight after losing 80 pounds, I am now calling myself “frail” because that get’s me special dispensation on the Body Mass Index Charts.
It’s an insurance company from the U.K. so forgive them their spelling, and they are paying me in pounds – which in this case is highly desirable.
In a nutshell to avoid winter injuries – with my addendums:
- Keep Warm – Snuggies!
- Don’t Fall – Don’t Move
- Don’t Eat Poison – Dur?
- Don’t Scald Yourself – Tepid Hot Water Bottle Please
- Drive Carefully – And Get the Hell Out of My Way
I can’t wait for their “how not to die” tips for summer.