From the Smallburg television station WBLOW comes this WX BLAST… (wx means weather in teevee talk)

Current forecast models look to phase or connect upper level energy from the north and a deep low pressure system to the south somewhere over the southern Appalachians by Saturday night.

Whuck?

Current Models? Like Brooklyn Decker (real name) will phase or connect?

OMFG.

Jaysus Nancy, go buy white! (Bread, milk, eggs, sugar, sheets, toilet paper)

Upper level energy… Like a bomb?

Deep low pressure? I’ll show you deep low pressure…

Fire up the Live In Fear Doppler boys (and token girl), we may get THREE INCHES OF SNOW.

There is a timeline for our certain death from SNOW (with my interpretation)

TIMELINE

• – Increasing clouds today and tonight – no weather worries. (true, that’s what the WBLOW WX Alert says -no weather worries – and I couldn’t do better!)
• – Cloudy to start Friday morning. Light snow will begin moving in from our northwest mid-afternoon Friday. (Light snow as opposed to dark snow, which should not be confused with Black Ice.)
• – Snow will begin to accumulate on area roadways late Friday afternoon and into the evening. (Start driving off the roadways early on Friday.)
• – Occasional snow showers overnight Friday into early Saturday morning. Some 1/2″ to 1″ amounts possible. (Or it could accumulate to 5/8″ to 1 3/8″ possibly.)
• -Periods of snow likely Christmas Day Saturday with an additional 1-2″ across Southern Kentucky. (Bringing the totals to a mind-boggling OMFG total of 3″)
• -There may be a brief lull in the snowfall Saturday evening before more snow falls early Sunday morning. (Lulls, we like lulls.)
• – Additional snow showers will occur Sunday – especially eastward. (Eastward, yeah eastward is good. Eastward of Westwood?)
• – Snow showers tapering off Sunday evening. Breezy NW winds will send wind chills into the single digits. (keep your digits covered.)
• – Some flurries may hang around with low clouds Monday morning. Some cloud breaks Monday afternoon. (Reeeeaaaaady? BREAK!)
• – Total snow accumulation – 1-2″ westward. 2-3″ around Smallburg. 3-4″ eastward.

Never fear, I shall remain at my post to post. Live in Fear Doppler or no. I shall prevail. Brian, a Masshole, will guide me through this time.