My PB (not Peanut Butter – Paddle Buddy) Rick is in an ARRRRGH meeting. How do I know this when he is thousands and thousands and thousands of feet away?

He updated his Facebook status.

Is there a person alive that thinks meetings are worth the time?

From where I sit there are seventeen types of meetings. Listed here for your Alpha Pleasure.

1. Arrgh. My boss called this meeting and I have to go.
2. Brrrrr. Why is it so friggin’ cold in here? To keep us awake?
3. Crap. We all know this already.
4. Dumass Derision Decision. Somebody needs to make a decision but doesn’t want the responsibility, so a meeting devises the decision.
5. Eck. Do I have to sit with these people who are obviously dumber than me?
6. Frak! Didn’t we have this same meeting the last week?
7. Gulp. I am so not prepared.
8. Hummana Hummana. I can’t stop staring at him/her.
9. Idjits. You are preaching to the choir.
10. Just say it! Don’t dance around spewing blather about ancient history.
11. Kelly Clarkson. Not saying much worth remembering, but s/he’s just so darn cute.
12. LOLZ. Everybody has a great time, cracking wise and cracking up until it’s over.
13. Mow the Laundry. The person running the meeting has no idea what the group  is capable of.
14. No Shit Sherlock. Everybody reads the handout while the handout is being read aloud.
15. Octomom. Just as you think it is over, out pops another bloody mess.
16. Pixel Counting. Staring at your phone praying something interesting will pop up.
17. Questionable Fart. Either a sound or a smell occupies your mind until the meeting ends.