Leave it to a couple of Methodists to really screw up St. Joseph “The Underground Real Estate Agent.” But even by screwing up St. Joe, miracles happen.
Nancy’s friend Sally introduced us to St. Joe. She loaned us a proven St. Joe when we told her we were listing our house with a real estate agent of the earthly variety.
The house had been on the market for about 45 days as a For Sale By Owner. I bought the domain name, found a real estate website that would syndicate the listing to Trulia.com and Zillow.com, etc. Put on a “make-me-move” price and let ‘er rip.
We were getting about 30 page views a week, which in Smallburg is very good. We even had some inquiries and showed it once.
The solemn tradition of burying St. Joseph in the earth began hundreds of years ago in Europe. During those times, an order of nuns prayed to St. Joseph (the patron saint of the family and household needs) when they needed more lands for convents. The Sisters were encouraged to bury their St. Joseph medals in the ground.The medals evolved into statues, culminaing with the complete “Underground Real Estate Agent” Kit currently available. Today, thousands of homesellers and real estate agents nationwide continue this successful tradition; they are looking for a little divine intervention.
What would a couple of Methodists know of Saints? St. Joe was new to us. Sally handed him over with the instructions that we should bury him facing our house.
Sally was holding out… and God will punish her for that…
Here are the real instructions for St. Joseph The Underground Real Estate Agent:
- Dig a hole by the For Sale sign 2-3″ deeper than St. Joe.
- Put St. Joe in the hole head-first, feet toward the heavens, facing the street.
- Say a little prayer “Good Lord, lets sell this house” will probably work.
- Cover him up.
Our house sold within three days of burying St. Joesph. Those Catholics got it going on. Nancy promised Sally that she would consider converting once we get to Costa Rica – she will be as good a Catholic as she is a Methodist.
And if that doesn’t work, I’ll put her upside down in a hole.