Father’s Day is just around the corner. I got my order in early for my Father’s Day gift idea, but was told that it was out-of-stock. Bulbous spends all day online, but when it comes to shopping, she is challenged. She doesn’t realize that the deal yesterday is gone today.

But if you are the kid of a boomer dad, and you think buying a gift for him is impossible and are thinking that spending time with his spawn would be a nice gift. Think again.

Especially if you were thinking of…

Ice skating – The only ice in June should be connected to the Stanley Cup or an adult beverage, usually both.

Dive bar – he’s been there, done that – and you might be embarrassed when everybody knows his name.

Flea Market – you will regret when he goes into his  “I remember when…” mode and then tries to dicker with the vendor by saying, “it only cost $2 brand new!”)

Home Tour – are you really asking for an afternoon of constant sighing and shifting from foot to foot?

Climbing Wall – puh-leeze. 1. Your dad is a total sofa spud or 2. Your dad is a total sports stud. No climbing wall is suitable for either.

Farmer’s Market – He will see all his buddies and they will stand around regaling each other with fantastically detailed weather reports/predictions/complaints.

Gunnery Range – Remember, dad maybe on ‘Roids for some disorder you are unaware of. A trip to the gunnery range could trigger him.

Winery – See Home Tour

Musical Theater – Unless it’s Stomp or Blue Man Group. Nothing else. Period.

Bowling – See Farmer’s Market

Open Mic Night – your dad WILL perform. Count on it. And the biggest laughs will be when he talks about YOU growing up.

If you’re looking for things to do with your boomer dad on Father’s Day, give me a shout. I’ll need his age, weight, height, and sexual orientation. Same for you.

I’m here to serve.