Guest post while I’m moving stuff to Costa Rica. If I never return to blogging, blame Costa Rica. Pura Vida!
We used to travel around in a travel trailer. It was a giant step up from tent camping and it got us lots of places we couldn’t afford to go if we had to pay a motel bill and eat in restaurants.
If you’ve never traveled in a small travel trailer, then you really haven’t traveled at all. Nothing like finding that place after ten hours on the road and trying to get the thing backed in, leveled and all the tables and beds ready for use.
After a few days of setting up and taking down, most travel trailer travelers can only dream of ten awesome ways to destroy their travel trailer.
To some they are the menace of the motorways. To others a faithful friend that has served them well over many years. If you are of the former view, then the following methods of destroying minivans are sure to elicit warm fuzzy feelings combined with maniacal shrieks of glee. If you share the latter view, think of the destruction not as an affront to all that is decent in the world, but more as a fitting send-off worthy of these courageous creatures that endure scorn and ridicule from motorists who don’t know any better. To these brave beasts (well definitely ‘beastly’ in some opinions) we salute you:
1) Crash a car through it. Preferably with a long run-up for speed. Highly entertaining for spectators. Scarier than the dentist for the driver.
2) Pull the caravan through a gap between two walls that’s narrower than the width of the caravan. It’s just like trying to squeeze successfully into clothes that are too small for you. It ain’t gonna happen.
3) Using heavy digging machinery is impressive to say the least and even provides the ability to clean up what’s left of the caravan afterwards. How very thoughtful and environmentally conscientious!
4) Caravan racing strikes fear into the metallic hearts of caravans – rarely is one ever left standing.
5) If it’s going to go, let it go out in a blaze of glory with some TNT. You might even be able to roast some marshmallows whilst enjoying the flaming spectacle. A proud ending for a caravan, some tasty treats for you; now that’s a win-win situation.
6) Honestly, kids these days with their multitude of high tech gadgets and toys. They can’t handle the old school awesomeness that derives from two cranes and some caravans in a game of caravan conkers. Drama, excitement, tension; what more could you ask for?
7) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s a flying caravan! Charging a caravan up a ramp to send it soaring into the air over parked cars below can be quite a sight. Unfortunately landing isn’t as graceful as a bird would do it.
8) Who says caravans can’t go quickly? They’ve got heart, they’ve got spirit, all they need is a chance! Top Gear attempted to break the world caravan speed record using a crane, a caravan and gravity. They certainly broke something alright, just not exactly the speed record…
9) How about some remodelling? Always wanted a bigger door for your caravan or perhaps another window? One caravan, one chainsaw and a chance for you to live out your architectural dreams.
10) For this last recipe of caravan carnage you will require: one tree, some axes or chainsaws, one unsuspecting caravan placed just so, and someone who can scream ‘Timber!’ very loudly. You got a caravan so you could be one with nature; well now your caravan can be too.
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