I have been officially summoned to the U.S. Embassy in Costa Rica by President Obama – probably to carry out some covert mission of utmost national security.

At least as far as you know, that’s the reason.

The real reason is the Ambassador wants to party with me.

Anne S. Andrew

Embajadora de los Estados Unidos de América

y el Señor Joseph J. Andrew

tienen el agrado de invitar a

Señor Mark Van Patten

a la conmemoración del

236 Aniversario de la Independencia de los

Estados Unidos de América

y la presentación oficial de la beca Dr. Franklin Chang Díaz

en las áreas de ciencia y tecnología

el martes 3 de julio, de las 12:00 a las 14:00 horas

“Business Attire”                                                                                                              

Museo de los Niños

R.S.V.P.

Calle 4, Avenida 9

Esta invitación es personal e intransferible

Favor presentar un documento de identificación a la entrada

I’m sure that Her Excellency, Her Eminence, Her Supremeness  Her Ambassadorable, Her Secretarial what do you call an ambassatrix?

I need to study up in my official State Department Manual of Protocol.

I haven’t officially “accepted” the summons. Can one decline a request from the representative of the leader of the free world? I needed to clarify that it would be OK with Her Statedness, Anne, that I could bring a couple women with me. Hope she doesn’t mind a threesome.

Nancy wants to go too, and since Terri will be here then, I want to take her too as back-up/witness/cover.

As much as I can, I will keep you posted on President Obama’s needs in Costa Rica. I’m sure Her Ambassadorable and I will hit it off swimmingly and she will offer me upgrade me from Warden of Costa Rica to at least Superintendant of Costa Rica.

UPDATE: No the plot thickens. This was a personal invitation and I can bring nobody else to the party.

Nos hubiera gustado poder invitarle con su cónyuge u acompañante, pero en esta oportunidad la invitación es personal.

UPDATE 2: Rich from NextAvenue.org thinks I should say “Her Excellency.” I thought that sounded imperial, which reminded me of this commercial.